Double Ex: A Romantic Comedy about Lost Love & Lookalikes by Lee Daniel Bullen

Author:Lee Daniel Bullen
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: humor, romantic, celebrity, tenerife, romance, heartbreak, london, lookalikes, love, comedy
Published: 2014-11-19T10:26:42.129600+00:00

Chapter 12

Heads & Tales

Konrad jolted awake to the surreal experience of finding teddy bear stuffing up his nostrils. He pulled out the puffy polyester filling and noticed his chest and abdomen also covered; he shrieked, pulled down the duvet and saw a sea of stuffing all over the bed, screaming as he noticed the decapitated head of a toy horse by his feet. His cries echoed all over Camden High Street, waking Nick and half the neighbourhood.

‘Don’t be seen with Nick Green!’ read a small note attached to the mutilated, not-so-cuddly toy. He jumped out of bed hyperventilating and reread the strange warning made with glued magazine letters as Nick burst into the room holding a similar horse head and note; Konrad nearly jumped out his skin. Nick began to pace, failing to notice his friend’s distress. He read out the message.

‘Stay free of the other three!’ What the hell does that mean?’ he asked Konrad as stuffing poured onto the bedroom carpet from his beheaded animal.

‘I… I have no idea.’ Konrad replied as he slumped on the bed and took deep-breaths into a paper bag.

Nick stormed over to the window and looked along the street for suspicious characters or unusual activity, ‘Did someone break in here last night?’

‘Well I didn’t bloody do it!’ Konrad shouted back, throwing up balls of stuffing and horse limbs from his bed to make a point.

‘Then what’s going on?’ he asked desperately. During Konrad’s inability to answer Nick’s phone started to ring, ‘Lucy!’ he said with his first smile of the day. It was short-lived. ‘What?’ he exclaimed as Konrad jumped for the umpteenth time that morning. While Nick listened intently Konrad studied his face, growing more anxious by the second. ‘Okay don’t worry, meet me for coffee when you finish work. Speak soon.’

‘What happened?’ Konrad asked, sensing the situation was worse than feared.

‘Lucy and Amanda had heads in their beds too!’ he said, dropping next to Konrad on the bed, ‘They came with a note; Don’t be seen with Nick Green! Why’s someone doing this, Kon?’

He showed Nick his note with the same warning, ‘I don’t know, mate.’

After nervously spending the day at home Nick made his way to the cemetery to visit his mother, always a therapeutic distraction, and he felt himself loosening as he idly chatted with the headstone. When Lucy passed through looking drained from the showdown with her boss she illuminated at the sight of Nick; they stopped to say their goodbyes to Gloria’s marker and made their way to the local coffeehouse.

The pretty barista shifted uncomfortably as Nick entered; he hadn’t called, as promised, and she anxiously looked away. As he approached the counter he studied her suspiciously, briefly considering her a suspect in the horse heads scandal.

‘Hi Nick.’ she said sweetly, ‘Nice to see you.’

‘Yeh, you too…’ he searched his memory for her name; shamefully he couldn’t remember. ‘How are you?’ he added to disguise his mental slip.

‘I’m well.’ and she proceeded to tell Nick about her week in banal length.

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